Hello boys and girls! Join me, won't you, for a wonderful journey to the delusional mind of Neil Warnock! It is a magical place devoid of logic and reason! It is a delightful land full of relegations, promotions to the first division, and getting fired after 3 games! It is a spectacular world where the latest and greatest from Tottenham's academy could have gone on loan to Crystal Palace this year if it weren't for
those meddling kids the Europa League! Take us to a world of imagination, Neil!
"I tried to get him a few times when I came here," the 66-year-old said. "He is a good lad and you know what you are going to get with him. He is an exciting player. His first thought when he gets the ball is positive and I like players like that, who commit defenders.
"He obviously enjoys it, you can tell by the smile on his face. He is a good asset.
"At the time, he was not involved and we felt there was a chance of getting him on loan. But unfortunately they were in that horrible cup on a Thursday night.
"I think we might have had a shout because he needed to play games but from our point of view he played in that competition, did quite well and then worked his way into the first team."
"We didn't speak to the manager or what have you but we just asked about his availability and were told that on Thursdays he was important in the squad," he added.
"I just thought at the time it might be good for him to come and play and get some experience. He's a hard-working lad who can finish and I think he's got a good future ahead of him. He's English as well.
"He's got a good grounding with the squads he's been in, like the England side, as well. I think everything about him is positive at the minute.
According to Warnock, it was only that horrible cup on Thursday nights that kept Harry Kane out of Selhurst Park. Now, Neil, we're not talking about the Johnstone's Paint Cup. We're talking about the Europa League! It's not the Champions League, but it is, you know, a European Competition. Something you'll never participate in!
Anyway, Palace asked us about getting Kane on loan, we said no multiple times, and now Neil thinks it would have been a done deal if it weren't for that pesky Europa League. This, of course, neglects the idea that any top flight English club, let alone one expecting to qualify for any manner of European competition, would go into the season with only 2 strikers. And hey, maybe competing for a European trophy is a better use of our up and coming striker's time than learning how to park the bus in London.
But hey, why let those little facts get in the way of trying to make yourself look smart.
Wow, with stories like this, it's like Harry Redknapp never left.