Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For February 17, 2014

Happy Monday, Spursland! Welcome to the week of the showdown; a showdown with the guy who, for years, has claimed that when he came to Spurs all the players were fat. I mean, they were, but you don't say that publicly, bro.

And now the "news"

Chadli Snubbed Swansea Loan- Sky Sports

Ugh, Wales. I get it, man.

Spurs Should Sell Adebayor This Summer- Mirror

My first reaction was "WHAT A BUNCH OF MALARKEY" because that's what I thought of it AND I enjoy using slang terms from the 30's. but on second thought, yeah, this makes a little bit of sense because he is getting older and he WILL lose interest again. Also, he apparently takes his used kits and turns them into furniture upholstery which is either awesome or psychotic. I don't know which, but it is one or the other. It's either the coolest thing ever or he has several children's bodies stuffed in his crawl space.

Portsmouth Just Signed A 44-Year-Old- SB Nation Soccer

Okay, he won a contest, so you know it's cool for him and not so depressing for the club, but I was really disappointed it wasn't this guy. Because that guy isn't fun to hang out with, but he is interesting to hang out with. I am basing that on the time I hung out with him. Yes, he is a psychotic.

Six Insane Facts About Fulham's New Manager- SB Nation Soccer

I want to share just one night out drinking with this man.

David Moyes Has Not Been Ruthless Enough -The Busby Babe

He is gonna call Rooney into his office and make him sit in silence for 11 minutes!

Excuse Me Dog, You Are Pooping On The Pitch- SB Nation Soccer

Sometimes my girlfriend brings up that I "write a blog" to her friends. They inevitably say to me, "oh, that is so interesting, what do you write about? Is it politics? I bet you write about politics." And to that I respond, "I write a bunch of poop jokes and then try to relate them in some way, however convoluted, to soccer." Today that is finally true.

The Craziest Shot In All Of Hoops This Weekend Wasn't Anywhere Near The All Star Game (Because All Star games suck)- SB Nation

I an assure you that this is the first cool thing to happen to this town since CKY.