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Wednesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For February 5, 2014

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Tottenham Hotspur news and notes, with child terrorization.

Tim Keeton

Happy Wednesday, Spursland! Late yesterday news broke that Christian Eriksen took advantage of a small child and nutmegged a tiny barely-walking baby. Now this may seem cruel, but this is probably going to be good in the long run for that child. Kids these days are just so coddled they never achieve their potential unless adults terrorize them with unspeakable footwork at a young age.

And now the "news"

Glen Hoddle To Meet With Swansea About Managerial Position- 101 Great Goals

No word yet from the big boss man on if the Hoddle of Coffee will be undergoing a re-branding in the event Hoddle is hired by Swansea.

PSG Rumored To Be In For Lloris This Summer- Sports Vibe

It will require a literal pirate's chest full of Spanish doubloons.

Juan Vargas Shot Could be Mistaken For A Missile- SB Nation Kicking Balls

I heard the Air Force saw that and was all like "oh, now it's on and we don't know what to do, you know because we all cheated on our nuclear thingy-majig test"

Iran's World Cup Kit's Have Cheetahs On Yhem- SB Nation Soccer

Alternate title: If Oregon football played the other football and their jerseys weren't utter shit.

Please Welcome Twice A Cosmo To The Family- SB Nation Soccer

That's right, a blog dedicated to lower division American football. I am sure every English person reading this was really hoping this was a blog just about Cosmo Kramer.

Editor's note: theroosevelts opted not to include anything about Zlatan in today's Hoddle. For that, he shall be smote.