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Happy Spursday, Spursland! It has been declared by some that the season is over. It has been declared by some (they plucked me out of commenting obscurity to write this thing) that we have nothing left to fight for. And to this i say nay! Because there are still games to watch and beer to drink while doing it.
Oh, you thought I was about to make a big call to arms style speech. Not today. I am already preparing for the barren summer months where I have nothing but transfer rumors to write about.
That is about the bro-iest that the attitude best spelled out in the works of Camus has ever been presented. I am so proud.
And now the "news"
AVB Appointed As Zenit Manager- Telegraph
During his first press conference AVB is expected to endorse Vladamir Putin's policies on the annexation of Crimea and pledge his undying loyalty to evil. He will then hug one of those creepy Crimean grandma's constantly on the covers of newspapers waving around their relics of Soviet rule. Huzzah! The return to bread lines and the secret police!
Julian Green To Pick USA Over Germany- Stars And Stripes FC
If you need me I'll be celebrating this buy consuming all the Germany beer I can find so that I may absorb awesome German things much like The US has absorbed this awesome German.
You Cannot Jump As High As Ronaldo- SB Nation Soccer
So I would have to assume that if Ronaldo tried to dunk over a parked car at some sort of slam dunk contest in front of a large number of people, he would not have chosen to jump over the lowest part of the car. Because Ronaldo ain't no fraidy cat.
Arsenal Re-Sign Three- The Short Fuse
At least the world isn't on fire for someone?
Watch An 81-Year-Old Bowl His First Perfect Game- SB Nation
Look at that! That's how you do it folks, a classic celebration of acting like you've been there. It projects the quiet confidence of a true champion. Notice he doesn't do the back flip, NOT BECAUSE HE CAN'T! Because he doesn't have to.
March Madnes Bracketology Picks- SB Nation Soccer
Enough is enough. Not everything gets to be an "ology". I was skeptical at Egyptology when I first heard it as a kid. If bracketology gets to be an "ology" then that lowers the bar to the level where I feel comfortable calling Ryan Rosenblatt a Zlatan's Ball-Sackologist.