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Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For March 4, 2014

Tottenham Hotspur news and notes, with a Massachusetts happy birthday.

Mike Hewitt

Happy Tuesday, Spursland! And a very big happy birthday to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. On this day in 1628, the Massachusetts Bay Company was given its royal charter to found a "plantation" in the New World. Centuries later, they don't have a plantation so much as they have a terrible accent and an inability to drive without making those around them contemplate murder. Happy birthday, Bay State!

And now the "news"

Kane To Be Given Chance- Sky Sports

Harry Kane > Sandy Kane amIright? Like three people are laughing at that and everyone else that clicked that link is just appalled.

Big Tim Says Soldado Could Score 20 Before Season's End- The Guardian

Jesus, look at our luck. Harry couldn't read or write, AVB couldn't handle making in-game adjustments and Tim Sherwood can't add.

Chelsea Not Among The 76 Clubs UEFA Is Investigating For Fair Play Violations- We Ain't Got No History

I don't know how any of this works, but my gut instinct is that this is a massive miscarriage of justice. No, I don't feel like doing any research into this.

US And Ukraine Cancel Friendly, Then They Don't- Stars And Stripes FC

Everything will be cool until the 89th minute when Vladimir Putin runs in and gives everyone stunners.

John Henry Admits To Violating Luis Suarez's Contract- Liverpool Offside

This is either hilariously stupid on his part, or it could completely change how teams deal with want away players. Or it might not mean anything. Who knows?

Australian Rugby Has The Best Commercial- SB Nation

It looks a lot like a certain music video from Damn Yankees.