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Thursday Morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For March 6, 2014

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Tottenham Hotspur news and notes, with an announcement.

Paul Gilham

Happy Thursda - CUT THE DAMN MUSIC.

The first thing you've gotta realize is that this right here is the future of Cartilage Free Captain. I came from a great big comment section down there. I made that comment section vibrant. And then the name Skipjack got bigger than the entire commentariat! Because I am better than that entire commentariat. I'm not just better, I'm the best. Since I've joined the masthead I have proved it in regular features, in news pieces, and in 1,000 word articles. I have shown over and over again that I am the best. in. the. world.

So I want you to read this carefully, as you click clack away at your silly little keyboards, hopefully as uncomfortable as possible. I want you to know that you are all just a pale shadow of my success and that none of you can hope to be what I have become. At the end of the day, you can have your recs, you can have your links, you can have your gifs, and you can have your stats, but you will never, EVER be as good as me. BEING ON THE MASTHEAD MEANS I AM BETTER THAN YOU.

As far as I'm concerned, all this crap in the advertisements and sidebars represents our site's commentators. For a whole year, I have held my head high! I did everything for you. I did the funny posts, I did the twitter jokes, I even revived a podcast! And the reception I got when I debuted it? You commenters can stick it. If it wasn't for me building this site comment by comment, rec by rec, all of the "Johnny come latelys" that you see out here commenting wouldn't even be here.

Now that Andy - whoops! I'm breaking the fourth wall - is busy tonight, I am here to help you. Because while you are down there telling englishmen about how Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father  and having SERIOUS conversations about fantasy novels, I am here day in and day out making this place better. I will make this Hoddle better, I will make Spurs better, and yes, I will make YOU Better.

And now for some links.

What life would be like under Van Gaal - The Fighting Cock

A glimpse into our future?

Former Tottenham Defender Gheorghe Popescu Jailed for Three Years - The Guardian

Should have called Rosie.

New World Cup Kits for Portugal, Greece, Poland, Turkey, and Croatia - SB Nation

Sweet baby Modric, avert your eyes.

Mertesacker and Rosicky sign extensions - SB Nation

Arsenal's commitment to their training staff should be applauded.

Vidic to Inter - SB Nation

An older player going to Italy as he hits the downside of his career? How long until Serie A is basically the MLS for eastern Europe?