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Happy Friday, Spurland! How was yesterday, my lovelies? Did you enjoy the writings that consisted of ripping off two of the most iconic pro wrestling promos of all time? I bet when Skipjack talked about "breaking the 4th wall" (which is a TV thing, not an Internet thing) he was thinking to himself "oh man, I am just like CM Punk, I am just like CM Punk". I hope you enjoyed that followed by 3 words of commentary on each link because you are getting a week of that. I'll be back to nurse you through your hangover the day after St Patrick's Day. Say your prayers, take your vitamins and Jose Mourinho can kiss my ass. I'm outta here.
And now the "news"
Soldado Won't Quit Spurs- Sky Sports
What if he punches in two, including the winner this weekend? Jesus, I've been writing this thing for years, can I figure out how to write without using so may hypothetical questions? I guess not.
Frank De Boer Turned Down Spurs And Liverpool- Telegraph
You know who else probably turned us down? Sir Alex Ferguson, and all the other top tier managers. We aren't on that level, gang. You know who is on that level? Teams with money coming out of their ears.
SB Nation's Comprehensive MLS Season Preview- SB Nation Soccer
Read this MLS season preview and not the douchey clusterfuck of a take down piece that Deadspin put out yesterday. I was really surprised at the difference between ours and theirs because the good folks at Gawker Media do not at all have a reputation for for being condescending and sanctimonious. That said, I read them all the time because I am just as big a piece of shit as they are.
Threat Level: Eden Hazard Ankle Broken- We Ain't Got No History
Look at that: the clouds just parted and shined down one shimmering ray of hope on the boys in lillywhite. I mean, they still have several other players worth £50 million, but hey, things are looking up.
Brutal High School Hockey Hit- SB Nation
That's why you don't put your head down, dummy.