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Happy Friday, Spursland! We could still get fourth. Thinks about that.
And now the "news"
Harry Kane is Mildly Intimidating- 101 Great Goals
Jesus, look at that upper body. He looks like he could grab a gazelle by the leg and casually climb into the trees for a light snack, if he wanted to. I bet he does muscle pushups on beds of nails. I would comment on Bentaleb's goal, but the camera angle makes it hard to see what was going on.
Sevilla Eyeing Up Kaboul Move- Give Me Sport
Could be a good time to cash in and get someone new in here. Someone who isn't constantly injured.
NWSL Season Preview- SB Nation Soccer
Seattle has Megan Rapinoe, Hope Solo, and Sydney Leroux, which is an anagram for "guaranteed title."
Chelsea Fans Pooling Money To Pay Mourinho Fine- SB Nation Soccer
Just save your money and send him a letter offering him the chance at what you really want to do to him. You know, with your mouth.
Game Of Titles- We Ain't Got No History
You have to respect the host just out and saying "okay this one is a stretch." nothing worse then someone trying to get through something that doesn't make sense and isn't funny and presenting it with unflinching professionalism.
This is, as far as I have seen, the greatest piece of investigative journalism SB Nation has ever produced. Steve Godfrey needs to be hoisted on our shoulders and carried from town to town here in non-SEC country. We finally know what we've been doing wrong for all these years. Now if you excuse me, I need to make some phone calls on my burner to a few car dealership owners back in Maryland. First year in the Big Ten is important, after all.
The UFC Is Part Owned By A Nation That Kind Of Sort Of Enslaves People- Bloody Elbow
And they will be having an event in that country tonight! Capitalism!
I know I've been awful this week. I'll be funny next week. Promise