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Happy Holy Jesus did you do your taxes day (for Americans only) day, Spursland! Go on, if you forgot to do them until now I expect you to own up to it in the comments section. This also applies if you were like slightly younger Roosevelts and used to wait to file until you got home from work on the 15th. One year I got them in with 20 minutes to spare. I mean, some people say big wave riding is the biggest rush there is, but you don't know shit about adrenaline until you're less than an hour away from missing the deadline AND you live in commonwealth state with exorbitant car and real estate taxes.
And now the "news"
Words Abut Managers Being Fired, I Think- The Guardian
That is the best title for this as i don't really know what the point of this was other than posting several long paragraphs of words on the internet. One minute it's all "at least England isn't sacking managers as often as Italy," then it's "Daniel Levy is kind of an asshole." Sir, I don't know what you want anymore and I wish you a good day. That's not true, I wish you an average day at best.
Lamela Won't Play Again This Season- Sky Sports
This news is a bit like dying. We all know it's happening at some point, but when we are told "no, it's definitely happening as of now" it genuinely sucks and it shouldn't because life is a story that you go into knowing the ending of.
Liverpool Beat Man City 3-2- Liverpool Offside
Every Red Sox fan you know that isn't from Boston is about to become insufferable. Now I know they already are, but I mean insufferable at levels where it is notable for the people on their portion of the bell curve.
Man Moons Penalty Taker...And It Works- SB Nation Soccer
Okay, let's do this, but up the ante a little bit least we be called wussies. I'm going to need two female volunteers and to borrow a cup from someone.
Orioles Fan Pretends To Catch Foul Ball With Giant Glove- SB Nation
Hey asshole, this is why other cities look at us (I'm from Baltimore for the three of you that didn't know, eh fuck it why am I attempting to explain things nobody is reading this.) like we are complete shit, like some sort of east of the Mississippi Detroit or something.
Who Can Win The EPL And How- SB Nation Soccer
The answer is nobody good.
Terpstra Steals Paris- Roubaix-Podium Cafe
This is a race that fans of any style of racing can like and will probably love. I don''t care if your thing is NASCAR, Formula 1, lawnmower racing or the kind of racing with athletes in it, you will love this. It has crashes with all the violence that comes with narrow cobblestone roads that rip at the body like a cheese grater on a nice aged cheddar, and it also has racing! It's fun! So don't be an ethnocentric North American dick hole and get into cycling so I have someone besides Kevin and, strangely separate from that, my Uncle Kevin to talk about this stuff when summer and the grand tours come around.