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Wednesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For April 9, 2014

Tottenham Hotspur news and links, with alcohol and sadness.

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Ian Walton

Happy Wednesday Spursland! Holy hell, we only have five matches left this season and, according to math, that mean depression will enter our lives again soon. I give it like seven weeks before we are linked to Peter Crouch and one of our editors face down in the garbage stockade of a mid level chain restaurant smelling of peach schnapps. Not Ryan, he doesn't count for this. That's called lunch for him. (Ed. note: Please, I would have Chinese delivery. Because I'm classy.)

And now the "news"

Spurs Consider A Move For U-21 Swiss Left Back- Mirror

Perhaps he will be bringing his controversial and revolutionary marten-chasing training program to Tottenham. Oh man, would I love to see the PETA protesters going up to that part of North London

Eriksen Not Going Anywhere, Said A Man Who Walks Around Glowing With The Glory Of Which Mere Humans Know Not- Sky Sports

I am commissioning a new blanket to be made. It will just have Eriksen's face blown up super big on it and I shall wrap myself in it for warmth and comfort.

Pochettino Will Wait Until Summer To Discuss His Next Contract- Telegraph

All our nice things get taken by Madrid. All of Southampton's nice things get taken by us. It's the circle of life crushing yoke of an unregulated capitalist system.

Brazil To Ban It's Players From "Acrobatic" Sex During World Cup- SB Nation Soccer

I will not post it here, but for a great example of acrobatic sex by an athlete, I know for a fact that somewhere in the darker holds of the internet there is a video of Denis Rodman doing "the whirly bird". I guess my point is that It isn't crazy for a coach to be talking about this. These are some of the most fit, wealthy and famous people in the world It's easy for them to get laid and I am sure that after a while they are much like Mr. Rodman -- they start just trying to do something weird. And sometimes weird things lead to ACL injuries.

Chelsea 2 - PSG 0: Initial Reaction- We Ain't Got No History

Eventually, these asshole have to accept they have some small amount of history. It would be rude to continue pretending. This the blog equivalent of that "OMG you guys actually came to this concert to see me?" thing Taylor Swift does at the opening of every stadium show. It's ridiculous, just like how much I care about this topic