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Spurs miss out on Belgian starlet

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We're not getting a guy you didn't know existed until you found out we're not getting him. It's a slow news day.

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-US PRESSWIRE

Belgiums are all the rage right now, and Tottenham Hotspur is trying to collect them like Pokemon. Spurs already have Mousa Dembélé, Jan Vertonghen, and Nacer Chadli on their books, with Romelu Lukaku 100 percent nailed on done and dusted to join them this summer.

But today our dreams of collecting them all were shattered as we learned of one Belgium who wouldn't be making his way to White Hart Lane. It seems Spurs have failed to land 15 year-old left back Axel Frix, more commonly known as "Axel F."

A truly devastating blow.

Axel F. first came to prominence playing for Detroit in the mid 80's before the death of his best friend prompted a surprise transfer to Beverly Hills, where he formed a deadly trio with Taggart and Rosewood. After two great years and one mediocre one, Axel F. faded from the public eye.

BUT NOW HE'S BACK

After decades off the radar, Axel F. caught the public's attention once again when he posted on his Facebook account:

"Ready for a week training with Totenham (sic) # love football"

His dazzling misuse of hashtags and thrilling misspelling of the club's name made pundits everywhere sit up and take notice. But his meteoric return to the spotlight would prove to be Spurs undoing.

After an impressive trial, Axel F. has turned the club down. That's right, the kid who millions hoped might one day play for, or at least correctly spell, Tottenham, will now likely do neither.

And most tragic of all, the Spurs faithful will never get the chance to hear this blasting through White Hart Lane.