Ah ITK, the most treasured commodity among football fans on the internet. Exciting rumors with nothing to back them up but our desire for any inkling of news. We all take it sort of seriously, despite the fact that 99 percent of this is almost assuredly made up by 10 year olds trying to get attention on online message boards and aren't old enough to pretend to be beautiful women who just can't get enough of World of Warcraft. But let's be honest, we believe it because the standard of ITK is only marginally beneath that of football journalists and its usually more fun.
So here at Cartilage Free Captain we will strive to round up only the finest ITK for your consumption this summer and help you find out what is going on at our favorite football club through the lens of our friend who works with someone who lives next to the cousin of a woman who walks Daniel Levy's dogs. Take it or leave it m8, we're just sharing what we know
SOUTH COAST SAINT!
Pochettino is on his way to Tottenham Hotspur and a deal is imminent! He will be here in a matter of days!
LEVY RELUCTANT TO PAY POCH PACKET!
Also Daniel Levy doesn't want to pay compensation for Pochettino who is nailed on and on his way.
DE BOER BACK IN THE RUNNING!
Levy is apparently considering Ajax coach Frank De Boer after he had apparently talked his way out of the job. Which is nailed on for Pochettino at this point?
JOE LEWIS BACKS RAFA BENITEZ!
You guys I'm so confused.
LES ASKED TO STICK AROUND!
Wait does this mean Sherwood is coming back? I don't know what anything means anymore.
ONE MANAGER FURTHER ALONG THAN OTHER!
That's me in the corner. That's me in the spot. light. losing my religion.
Word on the street indicates that Tottenham's players demanded Sherwood be fired as it was either him or them! Does anyone think that the mood in the Spurs locker room was akin to that of the Office. Also not the charming American version but the painfully awkward British version. I think we can assume it was basically exactly like that. Except instead of a secretary, Jan Vertonghen is flirting with Barcelona. Which would make Mashcerano the jerk that Barcelona is engaged to? This is getting weird. Let's move on.
LINKED WITH GREATNESS!
Tottenham have always been a club of ambition and as such we have always been linked with exciting players, even if they have chosen not to come to N17. Le Tissier, Eto'o, Kaka, Negredo, Forlan, Aguero, and Suarez are just some of the names tied to our great club. While it is disappointing that none have joined, the prospect of seeing them perform in Lilywhite usually makes for a thrilling summer. So what rising giants of the game have been linked with a trip to the Lane this summer? What future legends from far flung exotic leagues may possibly grace the pitch of White Hart Lane? Well so far... James Milner and Ben Foster.
Well. That's deflating. Come on ITKs, Harry Redknapp's not here anymore. Can we not confine our wild speculation to the Golden Generation's afterbirth? At least say we're interested in Alexandre Pato or something so we can imagine he'll recapture his form after we've had three or four beers or something.
Hugo Lloris is linked with PSG and I hate this idea so I'm just going to presume this is entirely a product of Jack Wilshere leaving comments over on the Short Fuse.
LOGO A GO GO!
We heard from our friend that had lunch with some writers at Cartilage Free Captain that OHSpurs designed an awesome image for this article. These deals our complex and don't always come off, so we are just passing along what we know. Whether you believe it or not is up to you.