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Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For May 20, 2014

Tottenham Hotspur news and links, with a plan.

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Clive Rose

Happy Tuesday, Spursland! Okay, so we don't really know what is going on behind closed doors with the team, I feel no shame in admitting that, but I have a plan.

First, I need to know something important. This blog has seen a pretty serious increase in traffic in the last three years, and for a website focusing on a team in London, we have a lot of Americans. Now going with the knowledge that just over 1/200 Americans have a top secret clearance I think there is a decent chance that someone reading this works at the NSA. The NSA which has been secretly intercepting recording and cataloging every phone call in the Bahamas. You know, those islands our team's owner lives around on his giant yacht. So if you are reading this and work for the NSA, just get on that super laptop that plugs into the matrix and listen to the big man's phone calls from Levy. Then I don't know, tweet me or something.

I know, fool proof plan, they don't call me the brains of this outfit for nothing.

And now the "news"

Strong Rumors Linking James Milner To Tottenham- Telegraph

No there aren't, but go ahead and print that anyway. It's the UK nobody can stop you.

Top Four Finish Was Unrealistic For Spurs, Says Tim- Sky Sports

I assume that the same person giving you press advice is the person who taught you how to burn down bridges. You only need to do it once. You don't need to do it every day of the week, but by all means keep doing it. It is making you really attractive to literally any team that might want you, because that's who you are targeting working for. Anybody.  I wouldn't be surprised to see him running the check out counter at Tesco.

Danijel Pranjic's Hair is Already At World Cup Levels Of Dumb -SB Nation Soccer

I firmly bolieve that soccer players at the pro level having dumb haircuts is part of a very secret pro's only contest to see who can have the worst hair and still get consistently laid.

Ryan Giggs' Legacy Is Up To You- SB Nation Soccer

To me, Ryan Giggs' legacy will always be his being the inspiration to that one scene at the start of Love Actually where Colin Firth comes home early from a wedding and finds his wife telling his brother about how much she wants to bone him. It's okay, Colin goes of to Portugal to write or something.

LVG Is Manchester United Manager- The Busby Babe

Guy'a got a big resume, but not a lot of silver.

Cricket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- SB Nation

I know this is cool, but I have no idea why.

Austin Peay State Have A Small Problem- SB Nation

That's why you can't just let Rupert do what he wants.

Luis Enrique And Ter Segan To Barca- Barca Blaugranes

Talk about throwing down a gauntlet.