Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links May 27, 2014

Happy Tuesday Spursland! Poch will be descending on the Lane any second now, I can feel it. OK that's not strictly true, I can't really feel anything (I don't have a heart or feelings) but I would really like an announcement of some sort today or tomorrow. Get this guy in, have enough time to figure out how the fax and the coffee machine works before the world cup starts so he can start figuring out who is staying and who is going and who we will try to sign and who we will sign after they decide we aren't big enough. You know, Tottenham manager stuff.

And now the "news"

Poch Deal Could Be Three Years For £3 Million A Year-Telegraph

However he will not, I repeat NOT be issued a key card and pass code to Levy's private study/dungeon/ Tapas bar. That Daniel does love him some small plates of Iberian snacks.

Steve McClaren Shock Name In The Frame For Spurs Job-Daily Star

This looks to be about as weak a premise as A Million Ways To Die In The West.

Chadli Is Slick, Scores For Belguim-101 Great Goals

And he did it from the wing! Did anyone know he was good out on the wing? Like why was he constantly stuck in the middle of the field? Oh yeah I forgot Tim Sherwood is an asshole.

Podolski Places Reporter Into Pool, Reporter Not Prepared, Generally Sucks-SB Nation Soccer

Speaking of assholes. Lots of people find this to be hilarious but I think it just sucks. Throwing someone into a pool is funny, even if they do ruin their phone or a nice pair of shoes, or can't swim and have a fear of water. However placing someone gently into the pool is insulting, emasculating and dickish. And seriously how do you not even make an attempt to take him with you reporter dude?  It's not like the playbook for this scenario is some super secret thing, it's common knowledge.

Fleetwood Town Are Into League 1 Because The Other Team's Keeper Has No Depth Perception-SB Nation Soccer

Burton Albion are happy to announce the transfer of Keep Dean Lyness from Burton Albinon to Stanley's Chip Shop, located on the corner of 1st and Prince Albert street and open late.  Best of luck to you Dean.

Barca Close To Swap Plus Cash Deal With PSG, Dani Alves For Marquinhos-Barca Blaugranes

So I guess they are taking this big two not winning La Liga thing kind of seriously.

Rodgers And Liverpool Ink 4 year Extension-Liverpool Offside

Good for him, but I wonder if he signed it before or after he heard the rumors that Balotelli might be coming to Anfield. I know if I'm negotiating a deal and that is even a possibility I am asking for more money. Because Balotelli is an insane person.

T.I Fought Floyd Mayweather In A "Restaurant" Called Fatburger And Is Somehow Completely Fine-SB Nation

Hmm, pro boxer fights rapper/actor and a "ractor" has no bruises on his face.  Kind of makes the people who doubt that Ronda Rousey could beat the crap our of Floyd start to believe, right?