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Wednesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links May 28, 2014

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Daily Tottenham news and links, today on boot camps, the USMNT and face planting.

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Ian Walton

Happy Wednesday Spursland! So we got our guy. What now?  Don't say Lallana, don't you dare say it , you shut your stupid pie filed mouth we are not moving for Lallana. I will accept a move or Lana, but never for Lallana. I won't except it, believe that.

And now the "news"

Five Things Poch Needs To Do To Make Tottenham Work-Guardian

None of this is really news but I find it hilarious that this writer think there can be a positive atmosphere introduced to the club. If the team's fans are any indication positivity is a virtue that will never be achieved.

Poch To Institute Boot Camp Style Training At Spurs-Telegraph

I am looking forward to seeing the results from this. More training time + better fitness and more time to focus on the things we rather famously never practice. Like those set piece things I hear other people use to score goals and stuff.

France Demolish 2010 World Cup Bus-SB Nation Soccer

This has all the authenticity and realism of a political endorsement speech.

Snoop Dog Blesses The USMNT, Thinks Dempsey Is Way Better Than He Is-Stars And Stripes FC

I mean this is a step up from last cycle with Rivers Cuomo but seriously we can't go all the way and get Bill Murray?

Goodson: I Deserved To Be On The World Cup Team, Jurgen Didn't Give Reason-Stars And Stripes FC

Well did you ask?  If so did you use the magic word? Which as it turns out is bitte.

Step 1. Win Race, Step 2. Raise Arms In Victory, Step 3. Face Plant-SB Nation

Yes young man, you lay there, you lay there covered in road rash and shame.

PS. this Saturday night I'm on the bill at the Comedy Cabaret 's NE Philly Location. Tickets are just ten bucks, two drink minimum.