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Happy Monday, Spursland! And happy Cinco de Mayo to all our Mexican readers. This day, for those in England who may not know, commemorates the Mexican forces' unlikely victory over the French, which I am sure we can all get behind.
And now the "news"
De Boer And Pochettino Favorites To Take Over For Big Dumb Tim- Telegraph
This was just an excuse to call Tim Sherwood big and dumb. Because losing to West Ham is the biggest dumb thing you can do.
De Boer Is Waiting On Offers- Sky Sports
Oh, look who is playing us hot and cold now. It's not nice to play with people's feelings!
Ronaldo Can Do Things Other People Can't Dream Of- SB Nation Soccer
I am just going to say it -- he is better than Messi. There is nothing he can't do and I admit it I full on love him. And you must understand I have said terrible things about this man for years. YEARS! The diving, the hair styling, the all too good smile, all are things I have a natural distrust of, but he made me love him all the same; that's how good he is.
Ron Bentley, Champion Old Man Dancer- SB Nation Soccer
Best old man dancing I have seen since the wedding scene from the Godfather when the old dude sings that song in Italian and starts making those penis sex gestures with his hands in front of all those children.
A Chronicle Of The Newcastle Walkout- Coming Home Newcaslte
Everything in the UK is a chronicle, isn't it? The Anglo-Saxxon Chronicle, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Doomsday Book which should probably be called a chronicle, and the list goes on. I guess I am not doing any more research.
When Dancing With The Other Team's Cheerleaders, It Should Look Like This- SB Nation Look It
My only exposure to cheerleaders has been at pro American football games where they are done up in so much makeup it's scary. My high school never had cheerleaders (no girls) so I don't have this attachment to cheerleaders as a sort of sexualized thing that most other men here do, but after seeing this video I have to say, okay It's kinda awesome. But seriously women shouldn't be objectified in this way. They should be reading books and learning jiu jitsu so they can beat up boys.
President Obama Imitates Richard Sherman At Nerd Prom- SB Nation Look It
Everyone who was in attendance, as a group, were the worst audience for comedy I have ever seen. New rule: if you can't take a joke about you, or your friends, or the people you work for, you don't get to be in government or to cover the government. You can't trust people that can't allow themselves to laugh.