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Friday Morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Friday, June 13, 2014

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Oh I'm on... top of the woooorld looking... down on Croatia and the only explanation I caaaan fiiiiiiind...

Shaun Botterill

Good Friday morning to you, Spurs fans who are only coincidentally also fans of international football! Our good friend theroosevelts is apparently drunk on Croatian rakija in commiseration with his unfairly disadvantaged Croat brothers-from-another-mother.  That leaves it to me to throw together a little Hoddle for y'all. Now let me just open up a new tab so... OH MAH GAWD I SLIPPED AND FELL ON MAH ASS RED CARD RED CARD RED CARD *points fingers to heaven*

And now, the "news."

David Bentley retires from football

You were the CHOSEN ONE! You were supposed to bring BALANCE to Spurs, not LEAVE US IN DARKNESS

Betting website implies Spurs in for Dutch RB Daryl Janmaat

This has been your #batcountry/#dailymenno report of the day.

Bernard reportedly unsettled at Shakhtar

SOUND THE BALDINI KLAXON! AOOOOGAH!  AOOOOOOOOGAH!

How Brazil built the world's best team [SB Nation]

If you haven't read this wonderful essay by our own Messr. McCauley, you really should. It's wonderful and provides a wealth of information about Brazil's national team the past several years.

How will the USA line up against Ghana? [Elkhart Truth]

So, um. I wrote this for my local paper. It's an attempt to format football geekery for the casual footy fan and I fully expect you lot to rip it to shreds.