Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links: June 17, 2014

Happy Tuesday Spursland! And welcome to Nabil Bentaleb debutant ball.  Some will say this is just another day at the World Cup, but those people are probably idiots who... I don't know, spend their days building elaborate models to predict how many goals will be scored in each game only to watch those predictions crumble in the face of reality.  You know what I'm saying?

Basically today is the day the rest of the non-Algerian/ North London world wakes up and realizes there is a new beast in the midfield.  Tim Sherrwoodinsien's monster is set to be unleashed.  Let him gorge himself on the metaphorical flesh of the... oh crap he's playing against the Belgians.  Well at least he can high five Verts or something.  Maybe next game gang.

And now the "news"

Premier League Opening Day Schedule Leaked, Spurs Get Leicester -- 101 Great Goals

Big if true/confirmed.

Tim Sherwood Turns Down West Brom -- Haringey Independent

Uh, what.  (Sorry I'm writing this in pieces immediately after the US beat Ghana yesterday so I'm in a state of serious endorphins and hormones going crazy, ya dig?  Do people still say that?  Oh no, now I can't see out of my left eye.  I need to come down.  Somebody get me a barrel of American beer, and a gallon of bourbon.

Landon Donovan, Good Sport -- SB Nation Soccer

I firmly believe Landon Donovan is not funny, that doesn't mean he doesn't know funny when he sees it.  When ti comes to seeing funny, that man is money.  And now I'm talking like Kramer's lawyer.  This is not good.  Can someone begin to catalogue these medical conditions in case I don't wake up tomorrow.

Portugal Start Off World Cup With A Meltdown -- SB Nation Soccer

And the vaunted statistical predictions of one Michael Caley continue to fall fast than major cities in Iraq to the ISIS. For those who didn't remember It was big Michael Caley who predicted Portugal as third most likely to win it all, and it was he who started the poo-pooing of Germany as in a down year.  SCIENCE!

USMNT BEAT'S Ghana, Related I Did The Helicopter Dick -- SB Nation Soccer

Take your national dish of fufu and blow it up your ass.

But seriously tremendous game by the Ghanaians, but please in the future do not proceed with any further attempts to tread.