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Friday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links June 20, 2014

Falklands War! England loses! Teen break-up metaphors!

why did england lose? Not enough me, obvi
why did england lose? Not enough me, obvi
Clive Rose

Happy Friday Spursland! Sooooooo, is anyone in England going to tune in to see Italy play Costa Rica today? If it's any consolation, congratulations on the anniversary of the Falklands war ending.

I'll see myself out.

And now the "news"

Ferdinand And Ramsey Leave Coaching Roles At Spurs - BBC

Break ups are hard, right Pacey? OK maybe that one didn't hit it clean.  Right Ryan and Marisa?  Yeah I think that works better

Spurs Looking At Bony As Lukaku Plan B - Metro

I prefer the plan be where we keep Ade, and Kane, And that Spanish guy everyone hates.

3 Reasons Everyone Is Falling In Love With Chile - SB Nation Soccer

But are there beans in Chile? The food crazed ideologues on both sides of this issue demand to know!

"Internet Personality" Attempts Retweet Fueled Pitch Invasion, Sucks At it - SB Nation Soccer

Once on the field how did he think he was getting the kit o Sanchez?  Even babies who aren't even trying to resist are difficult to get shirts on, I can't imagine Sanchez would have just gone along with that.  Your plan was astonishingly bad sir, and I hope someone shaves your head while you sleep.

These World Cup Themed Condoms Taste Like Brazil's Signature Drink - SB Nation Soccer

OK adults only for this one folks because I feel a point needs to be made here to illustrate that this is a stupid idea.  Now, Brazil's signature cocktail is beloved in may parts of the world, I believe Spain's chef/magician Ferran Adria dedicated one of the dishes on his restaurant's tasting menu to it during it's last season opening.  But I can't help but feel that a condom that tastes like this beverage could only lead to backfiring.  The only point to a flavored condom as I can think of it is to have it in your mouth while it is being used for it's more latexy qualities.  And usually, often in fact, these activities happen after a night out, especially someplace as party crazy as the World Cup.  But let me ask you this: after drinking all night, when it comes time for business do you really want to be reminded of the flavor of the 11 native concoctions that led you to this probable lapse in judgment?  No! I don't think so.  I would bet that more often then not this leads to awkward exits or worse, vomiting on the spot.

Clint Dempsey Is Releasing A Rap Album - SB Nation Soccer

And thus he secured his place as the Roy Jones Jr. of the USMNT.

England Almost Eliminated - Three Lions Roar

I look forward to the garment rending in the English press over the next few months.