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Happy Wednesday Spursland! Welcome my friends to the third installment of Holy God can anyone even pretend they can stop the French". Or as it is known in the home of the Bishop of Rome, "Hey bossman can you swing one more lightning bolt out of Messi's foot? Just one more, for your boy? Come on I did good I excommunicated those horse cooking mafia guys do me a solid her!."
And now the "news"
This is the most traditionally English thing I have witnessed since the cuisine of Fergus Henderson, or England exiting the world cup in "disgrace". Everyone is basically saying fuck you to each other but everyone is being proper and gentlemanly about it. Look guys, someone here is an asshole now let's settle this like gentlemen. By fair, ordered, and probably not very good boxing, just like back in boarding school.
Lamela Tweets Thing, May Be Alive - London Evening Standard
I assume this is just Ryan catfishing us from South America. That guy is capable of anything, except getting out of Manaus in under 24 goddamn hours.
The Greeks Advance On 93rd Minute Penalty - SB Nation Soccer
For an audio/visual performance of the reaction to this from the writers room, I present this horse.
Suarez Did A Thing He Tends To Do - SB Nation Soccer
You sir are the definition of idiot savant. I mean there has never been a greater amount of talent coupled with the ability to fuck up so huge.
The Only People More Pissed At Suarez Than Uruguayans Might Be Ajax - Liverpool Offside
Ajax might be about to experience exactly what my biggest fear was when we just assumed we were getting Bale money but it wasn't done yet. They thought they were going all the way to the bank, and instead they are just on their way over to the local taqueria in the strip mall next to the pool cleaning and supply company. Or maybe I just describe my very excellent dinner from last night. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW MERE MORTALS.