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Thursday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links June 26, 2014

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It's all about the Germans.

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Happy Germany-Is-Not-Fit-to-Lick-the-Bottoms-of-my-Shoes-the-Ones-I-Wear-When-I-Go-Running-On-That-Trail-People-Ride-Their-Horses-On-And-Shall-Finally-Pay-the-Piper-For-All-the-Effort-During-the-Berlin-Airlift Day Spursland! I wrote a song just for today, I hope you like it

STAND UP, if you took Germany's scientists!

And used them to put a man on the moon and then take all the credit like you did all the work yourself cause f**k them.

OK it needs work, and that second line might be a bit wordy.  Lets go with what we know.

and who could forget...

Seriously German's don't even like being German.

And now the "news"

Al Today's Transfer BS Broken Down By Team - Telegraph

Like none of this is accurate.

United And Spurs Race For "Next Ronaldo" - Daily Star

There are few phrases I hate seeing in football reporting more than "the next (insert legendary player name)".  Can't the guy just be promising up and coming prospect, and not have the weight and the pressure of the next Maradonna or whoever the easiest name to tag them with is without putting more than 3 seconds of thought into it.  Maybe if we stopped doing that we would see a lot less of the young spro player acting like an entitled asshole stuff.  OK no that wouldn't solve that problem so I guess it all just boils down to I am rapidly become an old man who yells about random things from his porch.  GET OFF MY LAWN. [Editor's Note: Hey, that's my line! –Menno]

The Increasing Importance Of Kyle Beckerman - Stars And Stripes FC

I am admittedly an idiot when it comes to actually analyzing this game we love, but the play of Beckerman this tournament is sweet sweet redemption for me.  Back in my early days of Watching MLS on a regular basis I would see Beckerman play and start asking my friends "hey, this guy is great, why doesn't he play for the national team" and the looks I would get scared my heart they were so scathing.  I couldn't understand, he was controlling every  game I saw him play in and any time I brought him up I was sneered at.  While look who gets to act like a condescending dickhead now soccer friends! I was right you were wrong, and we can all agree that the German Chancellor looks like Droopy Dog.

USMNT Ratings Through The Roof - Stars And Stripes FC

How big is this thing getting in America?  People who regularly mock me for writing this are having parties to watch soccer.  My mother has been two on Philly Union game, she took off work tomorrow for the game.

The Rangers Sell A 2 Foot Long Korean Beef Sandwich, SB Nation Sent Someone To Investigate - SB Nation

This is why Germany can put together deal's leveraging their stable economy to prop up the euro in Spain and Greece The Land Of Golden Dawn, but they will never defeat us.  Look at this creativity in content production.  Where there should be nothing, there is now something. This story being on SBNation.com's front page is the journalism equivalent to Las Vegas existing.  You look around and think "this shouldn't be here, there is no reason for this to be here". And yet it is there and when you step back and look at it, it kinda makes sense. That and there is a lot of unexplained fluids on your hands at the end of the experience.

If you want to see what the Germans will see when the US walks out on the pitch? Click here