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Friday Community Hoddle: June 27

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America did it

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

GROUP OF DEATH? MORE LIKE GROUP OF NOT TOUGH ENOUGH TO STOP AMERICA. GHANA'S SUPER ATHLETES? NO PROBLEM. CRISTIANO RONALDO? JUST A DOUBLE AGENT BIDING HIS TIME. NANI? SCREW THAT GUY. GERMANY'S MIDFIELD?! Ok they're pretty good.

BUT AMERICA DID IT YOU GUYS. REMEMBER WHEN PEARL HARBOR BOMBED THE GERMANS? IT WAS D DAY ALL OVER AGAIN! OH WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO GET THROUGH BUT THEY DIDN'T COUNT ON AMERICA BEING AMERICA AND AMERICAING OUR WAY THROUGH THE GROUP. IT WAS LIKE FIGHTER PLANES ATTACKING BUNKER HILL AND GETTYSBURG BUT WITH FIREWORKS AND NINJAS AND GEORGE WASHINGTON DOING LINES OF COCAINE OFF THE BACK OF TEDDY ROOSEVELT'S MOOSE. THAT'S HOW AMERICA ROLLS WOOOOOOOOOOO.

AND NOW WE ARE OFFICIALLY BETTER AT SOCCER THAN ENGLAND, ITALY, AND SPAIN. WE WILL BE CELEBRATING THAT WITH A TICKER TAPE PARADE IN NEW YORK CITY AFTER THE TICKER TAPE PARADE WE HOLD FOR WINNING THE WORLD CUP. NOW BEFORE YOU COMMENT LET'S ENJOY SOME HIGHLIGHTS FROM AMERICA'S GROUP STAGE PERFORMANCES!!11!!!111!