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Monday Morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotpsur News and Links for Monday July 28, 2014

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#yourewelcome

Steven Bisig-USA TODAY Sports

Happy Monday Spursland! It's nearly the end of July- about that time when Etienne Capoue starts telling the cashier at Nando's 'just a side of spicy rice with my double chicken fillet burger, the season's starting soon'. What was your favourite moment of the Spurs tour this summer? Leave your thoughts in the comments section of a site that does that sort of twee nonsense, because we really don't care.

Below is your theme of the day- you'll listen to it, and by God you'll like it too sonny Jim.

Honeyblood - Killer Bangs (OFFICIAL VIDEO) (via Honeyblood)

And now the "news"

Swansea reportedly bid for Kyle Naughton- Daily Mail

Guess he's one we should have left back at the training facilities this preseason, amirite LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. It's funny because he's not very good at his job.

Lamela pouts in snap with Arsenal fan- Here Is The City

Imagine being that Arsenal fan who wants an album of photos with Spurs players. Just imagine it for a moment.

Jan denies Barcelona rumours- Guardian

I hear he was so stunned when he heard people thought he was angling for a move there that he nearly lost his grip on the chassis of the Barca tour bus.

Gareth Bale does one of those things that he does just because he can- Mirror

But could he do it on a wet Saturday night in Sto-... never mind.

Liverpool confirm Lovren deal- BBC Sport

Rodgers claims he's looking for the Croatian to fill a leadership void at Anfield. Steven Gerrard, in the immortal words of Rio Ferdinand- you have been effaced in a way that might provoke umbrage and ennui.

Atletico, Sociedad agree fee for Greizmann- SBNation

You really don't want to go to Madrid, Antoine. Out there, they think two anchovies in a half-inch of olive oil constitutes a meal. Seriously, just think about what you're doing.

Two 'banterous' 'top lads' bring a smile to the face of the global football community with their original, totally not-obnoxious behaviour- NBC

Pitch invasion selfies should be punished with a lifetime ban from all football stadia, club shops and five-a-side pitches. I'm deadly serious about this.