Tuesday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for July 29, 2014

Hello, everybody! Our distinguished new staff member Salmon Chase is on vacation this week. I assume this means soirees with wine tastings and expensive French cheeses, or perhaps a series of lectures on the Taft Administration followed by a fund-raiser for the Daughters of the American Revolution.

Or maybe he just went to Fort Lauderdale. Hell if I know.

Anyway, here are your links.

QPR boss targets Van der Vaart - FootballFanCast

This rumor is about a billion on the Redknapp Rumor Scale. Let's see: Played for Harry in the past? Check. Getting kinda long in the tooth? Check. Has distasteful off-field personal issues? Check. Would probably only come for stupid money? Check. Willing to come play for Queens Park Redknapps because nobody else wants him? Check. He's perfect, 'Arry. SIGN HIM UP.

Liverpool rule out move for Swansea striker Wilfried Bony - Squawka

That's fine, we don't really want him either.

ALL THE SOUTHAMPTON MEMES - Metro

If there's one thing that football fans do generally well, it's football-related memes. Even if it's gallows humor. There's probably a Venn diagram out there with overlapping circles showing the number of football fans who are smart and don't sucjk at Photardshop.

Meanwhile, in Zlatan-ville (PSG training video) - YouTube

I love this man. I just love him so damn much, you guys.

The European soccer transfer market, explained - SB Nation

For those who are new to soccer (O HAI most of post-World Cup America!) or just want a primer on why things like #batcountry exists, this is required reading. Andi Thomas FTW.

Hair-cutting Amish couple released from prison, now likes to play pool - Huffington Post

Remember the Amish hair-cutting scandal from a few years ago? It's sensationalist and newsworthy because it was the Amish, and the Amish are, y'know, WEIRD with their no electricity and their funny hats and their furniture outlets in places like Gatlinburg, Tennessee. I usually rail against Amishploitation. But this story? This I find kind of funny.