Happy Thursday Spursland, and goodbye. Today will be my last day writing the Hoddle of Coffee for you.
It has been a privilege ever since I got the email from Kevin after I asked for the gig saying the poetic "another guy got back to me first but, your comments are funnier than his." Never have I been so happy to have cut in line. Basically the long and the short of it is that after three years of trying to figure it out people at my day job a a Christian boarding school tracked down my alter ego theroosevelts. I have no idea how they did it but I know this, I cannot do what I have been doing, which is be honest and be myself as I bring you the daily news with your club, the greater footballing and sports world while trying to be as informative, funny and unedited as I can be now that the higher ups can find my musings on Harry Redknapp's giant fat face. And if I can't do it the way I know is best and presumably you have grown to like, then I won't do it. You guys deserve better than that. Tomorrow there will be a new guy in here, Kevin is lining him up as we speak. (No, it isn't Skipjack so relax.)
Thanks for reading... OK maybe not reading, thanks for commenting and growing this community.
And now the "news"
Good lord are Hull the reverse Real Madrid? They just take the stuff we don't have room for or want anymore? How about a new team name, instead of Hull Tigers we go with Hull the most dedicated Shoppers at the Tottenham Hotspur yard sale.
My come on man, my luck is the worst. ON my last day after a month of trying to scrap up the dreck of Internet rumor mongering and outright lies to get you guys a minimum of content to scroll past faster than your parents drove past McDonald's on road trips when you were a kid because "there were carrot sticks in the cooler". Seriously two legit news stories, what a way to go out.
Oh here we go gang, where have we seen this before? Liverpool are about to cash in big on a striker, there fans all of a sudden hate him for being a reasonable (where the money is concerned and nowhere else) and oh look they overspend for an up and coming English player using the money. Oh man, Lallana for £25 million? NO SIR! You guys were dumb with £35m for Carroll and this isn't as bad but I mean dude, come on. The world keeps on turning people, circle of life, other worldly philosophical musings, you get the point. [Editor's Note: not really, but you're leaving, so I'll just say "yes." --Uncle Menno]
Brooks, Yedlin, Green, that other guy... what's not to be excited about kids?
Come on guys stick around, stay awhile. It's nice to have something going on in the summer besides baseball in the summer and Basketball and hockey in the winter.
See you around guys. You were the best.