Hey, everyone. Dispatches from #batcountry was on hiatus for a while during the World Cup. However, it seems that since there are no games for a couple of days, rumors are starting to leak from the wilds of #batcountry like gasoline from a recalled Chevrolet.
Like this hilarious one: according to the Telegraph, Tottenham made a swap-deal offer whereby Gylfi Sigurdsson would head to Swansea in exchange for both left back Ben Davies and Dutch goalkeeper Michel Vorm.
See? Hilarious. #batcountry never disappoints.
The ridiculousness of this rumor is apparent on a couple of levels. First, swap deals never happen. They're talked about a lot in the English media, especially during open transfer windows when pretty much anything is a story, but in reality they're about as rare as Bigfoot.
Secondly, offering our Icelandic heartthrob for both Ben Davies, who is valued at around £8-10m, AND Michel Vorm, a highly regarded keeper who was on the Netherlands' World Cup squad this summer, is a hysterically low-ball deal. Can I see Daniel Levy potentially making that offer as an opening gambit? Absolutely. Do I think he actually did it or that this particular deal would actually happen? LOL.
Thirdly, it seems, well, odd that Michel Vorm would want to come to Spurs to be a back-up to Hugo Lloris when he starts every week for Swansea and I know what this implies about Hugo and LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEEEEEEEEEEEAR YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU
Finally, swap deals never happen. Ever. Unless they involve Goran Pandev.
A non-ridiculous version of this story, ironically also from the Telegraph, indicates that Spurs made an £8m offer for Ben Davies, and now have upped the amount to £10m. That I can believe, and I hope it happens, because Davies is a good player and we desperately need a left back. Unfortunately, this probably means that Gylfi's days with Spurs are probably numbered, which hurts the team's Hotness Quotient™ but probably is the right call from a on-field perspective.
Welcome back to #batcountry, everyone! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!