Wednesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links July 9, 2014

Happy Wednesday Spursland! Brazil, hilarious.

And now the "news"

Spurs To bid £20 Million for Lukaku - Telegraph

If we spend £20m for a striker, who starts on a regular basis in a one striker formation? Ade can crush it, Kane is the Devil's favorite demon or something, and Soldado cost a buttload.  Someone explain this to me before I have two dirty martinis and start saying things about a 4-4-2 option.

Lukaku Just Wants To Be Free - We Ain't Got No History

OK maybe Poch doesn't have to spend any brain matter on that last problem.

The Dutch Team Will Be Rewarded With Space Travel If They Win It All - SB Nation Soccer

Just another sign of the crumbling of the American empire.  From taking over Hawaii with like six plantain owners and their kids to not being about to reward their World Cup team with the best stuff.

Andy Sedaris: The Man Behind The Honey Shot - Slate

Andy Sedaris, it's like he heard about the #yesallwomen hashtag and took it the exact opposite way.

Gareth Barry Signs For Everton On A Free - SB Nation Soccer

Remember when he was a big money signing coming out of Aston Villa? Neither do I, but Wikipedia says it happened.