No, Tottenham Hotspur are not getting Julian Draxler

Hey the World Cup is winding down and that means that transfer season is heating up. And if its transfer season then you know the English press will start linking us to random players that definitely aren't coming here. Today's contestant is Julian Draxler! JULIAN! COME ON DOWN!

According to the Metro, Tottenham is preparing to offer Schalke a £17 million offer for the 20 year old winger/CAM. Draxler would be a great addition to Tottenham, playing on the wing opposite of a revitalized Erik Lamela, but this is not going to happen. Let's take a minute to review why Julian Draxler is not coming to Tottenham Hotspur.

• Arsenal were offering like 80 gagillion double dollars for him last summer and didn't sign him. I'm no economist but I think we'll need to offer significantly more than £17 million to get Schalke's attention, much less get them to take us seriously.
• Bayern's going to buy him just cause that's what they do. Then they'll sell him to Arsenal in 2 years because they won't have room for him in their team. Because we live in a cruel and unjust world.
• Schalke is like a financially screwed up version of Spurs, this would be more of a lateral move than an upgrade for him.
• While he's a significant upgrade on our left flank it's not like we're completely devoid of players out there. If we're going to blow a huge wad of cash this summer it had better be for, say, Ricardo Rodriguez.
• We did not sell Gareth Bale this summer so Daniel Levy is not swimming in a vault of money like Scrooge McDuck anymore.