clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links August 11, 2014

New, comments

Salmon Chase gets personal with his anecdotes.

John E. Sokolowski-USA TODAY Sports

Happy Monday Spursland! And oh baby can you feel it?  Do you have the frothing of anticipation in your loins that normally precedes the third date with that person you can't believe went out with you the first few times?  I bet you do but that's to be expected because we are only a few short days away from the season starting.  West Ham, put on your emotion armor because Lamela is going to take his ridiculous haircut and make you feel like Elizabeth Myers did when she decided to dance with Chirs the kid with the giant scar on the back of his head instead of you at the middle school dance down at the YMCA ALL OVER AGAIN!  In short, that means you are going to assume life is no longer worth living.  And I am not sorry about that.

And now the "news"

Lamela Is Keen To Show His Worth After Year To be Forgotten-Guardian

Oh he is keen, about as Keen as Liz Myers was on Chris the kid with the godddamn scar going from one ear around the back of his head to the goddamn other one!

Walker An injury Doubt For Season Opener-Daily Star

I may have forgotten that this was still going on. Blurg. [Editor's note: RUFIOOOOOOOOO]

Maradona Slaps A Journalist-SB Nation Soccer

I have no idea why people are shocked by this behavior towards the press.  This is after all a person who once fired an air rifle at journalists who were waiting for him outside his house.  Yes, a gun that shot a metal projectile. He shot it at other humans. This is practically a good night kiss by comparison.

Riquelme Is Old, Still Scores-SB Nation Soccer

He almost looks disappointed it wasn't a somehow even cooler goal.

Vermaelen To Barca For A Large price For A Player of his Ability, Age, And Position-SB Nation Soccer

Guys seriously the season is right around the corner! Is it a cop out to ignore the above link and just cheerlead excitement for the return of games that matter? Yes, of course it is and I don't give a shit.

Tony Stewart Killed A Guy In A Car Race, Here Is Your Hub For All Things Having To Do With This-SB Nation NASCAR

I would love to hear what our English, Canadian, Australian, and Malagasy readers think of this.