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Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For August 18, 2014

It doesn't get weird until the end.

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Julian Finney

Happy Monday, Spursland! Man I bet you guys thought we were in "Dier" straights, didn't you?

TRICK QUESTION, WE WERE IN DIER STRAIGHTS, it just looks more like this now more so than it does this, or this.

And now the "news"

Dier Takes Road Less Traveled To The Top- Telegraph

Yup, and because of it he turned out good.

Southampton Have £10 Million Bid For Townsend Rejected- Sky Sports

Let me be the first to give this story a giant dumbfounded, "uh wut?"

Honda Takes The Worst Corner Kick Ever- SB Nation Oh My God Are You Kidding ME

I am going with 30% chance this is match fixing.

Dillon Cerna Kicks Ball Well, Far- SB Nation Soccer

Kneel before the MLS kids, they are coming for your old world football souls.

PSG Are Totally Screwed- SB Nation Soccer

Somewhere, Ryan Rosenblatt is one Dodgers loosing streak away from moving to Alaska to find a cult and work on a fishing boat. Because I am pretty sure that in Alaska you don't need much prior experience to get either one of those things off the ground.

United's Rebuilding Is Not A Simple Task- The Busby Babe

Yes it is. You need to buy some good players and get rid of all your shit ones. I used to be able to name every god damn player in the starting lineup and almost the bench of this team. It was only 4 or 5 years ago and I put exactly no effort into knowing anything that isn't a direct interest of mine, or wasn't an important piece of news and culture. For example I know nothing about Legos, Burnley, or the collective works of Jeff Foxworthy, because obviously. As opposed to things I know an extraordinary amount about: the cooking of red meat, the sexual proclivities of certain SB Nation higher ups, and the Real Housewives of whatever fucking day of the week it is? Why? Because I stumbled on some of that information, or I felt it was important to know, or I like to have oddly specific factual examples of why my girlfriend's taste in TV shows is utter shit when I am yelling at her TV set.