Happy Spursday Spursland! And it it on this day that I AM CALLING YOU OUT AMERICA. A few days ago on the 200th anniversary of the British burning our capitol and giving us the beating we should have gotten in the revolution, some British diplomats tweeted a pretty funny thing marking its anniversary. Well apparently some of us Americans can't take a damn joke. It was 200 years ago, we have patched things up rather well since then perhaps you noticed the last century. And Americans should be able to take a joke, god knows we make enough of them about other countries (Canadians can back me up on that) and further more we should be able to look back and have a little fun with something that really isn't that painful a bit of history from this distance.
The first Amendment clearly states all citizens have the right to #banter.
And now the "news"
Yes, police are hoping to get to the root of all the little psychopaths that didn't stop at burning ants with Zumba, face painting and a chance to train at Spurs, which is exactly the kind of thing that will snap a kid who enjoys taking all the knives out of the kitchen and laying them on the ground in a circle pointed at his sleeping mother (guess which serial killer liked doing that as a toddler!). Zumba always appeals to those kinds of kids.
I got my money on him to be the next captain. Others will say a certain Belgian would be a better choice, and outfield player better suited to it but he already has one foot out the door. Our next guy needs to carry the mantel for more than just a bit.
This is dumb. Even to people who live there, Las Vegas isn't really a city. It's a sprawl in a lifeless expanse of dry, waterless land. People only move there to escape their pasts or to get over on tourists; people only visit to voluntarily get taken by these people. Any team that is there will be treated like all sports teams in Miami.
So Sanchez and Özil might want to start living up to their price tags, but I'd be cool if they didn't.
SB Nation Longform returns with this story of pain and loss and the state of Florida, which as usual is an embarrassment to the rest of the country.