Good afternoon/morning/whatever it is right now in Australia, commentariat! I'm filling in again for everyone's favourite drunk Salmon Chase (he might have had a legitimate reason today, but quite frankly I couldn't decipher the email), and as ever I'm going to drop in a theme for you all to peruse the Hoddle too today. Normally, my policy is to pick something that's come out at least fairly recently, and, as luck would have it, one of my favourite artists Grimes just put a new track out not too long ago. That song, however, is a trap-inspired nightmare, so I've defied my own rules and instead opted for something off her much much better sophomore album Visions.
... erm, anyway, FOOTBALL!
And now the "news"
Just a little lesson in how to appropriately employ the word 'no' in relation to transfer of footballers there, Southampton. Which isn't going to come for free, of course. That'll be one Schneiderlin please.
I love the smell of freshly-baked trolling in the morning. Or is it just the smell of unintentional irony? My sense have been a little dulled since Chadli overloaded them all on Sunday.
Until you've developed a painfully mundane goal celebration it's going to remain just a pipe dream, my friend.
Let's hope he doesn't get Hoddle to teach him an experimental way of holding the pen which ends up shredding the contract and burning his office down.
That means Flat-Top Danny is staying then #welbeckhairjokesforeveroriginal
Wasn't that originally Ossie' Dream?