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Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For August 4, 2014

Tottenham Hotspur news and links, and Salmon is back.

Jon Durr-USA TODAY Sports

Happy Monday, Spursland! I was gone for a week and literally everything that happened, happened yesterday. Oh, and everyone -- and I do mean everyone -- on the planet is trying to kill each other. I'd like at least one of those things to stop. It would make my life so much easier.

And now the news"

Chadli Could Be Offered To Southampton As Schneiderlin Make Weight- Daily Star

I am not ready to give up on this guy yet.

Literally All The News For Today Has Already Been Covered By Our Fine Team So Here is Daws Kicking A Ball Hard- Spurs Official

I refuse to believe he attempted to aim that. He just said, "fuck it, lets hit it hard."

Neymar And The Girl From The Hardees Commercial- SB Nation Soccer

This has to have been the check mate move in a game of Who Can Be The Bigger Douche that he and Bieber are playing. It's not like that kid did anything particularly assholic while I was away.

I have just been informed that the previous statement is incorrect because of course it is.

Ed. Note: It's Carl's Jr, not Hardees. West Coast 5ever.

RVP To Miss The Beginning Of The Season- The Busby Babe

LVG seems to have his work cut out for him.

Dynamo Moscow Score With A Fist- SB Nation Soccer

This is an offensive move I call The Putin. Illegal? Yes. Blatant? Yes. Gets away with it? Of course, must be a Putin.