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Rothchilds + Spurs = Illuminati

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Tottenham Decoded.

Thanks to OHSpurs for helping us uncover the truth. Follow his movements on the twitter machine.

As part of the ongoing Cain Hoy drama some interesting documents came to light showing just what the ownership stakes of Tottenham look like. The clowns in the hashtag brigade will surely grasp at any straws in this report to prove that Spurs' ownership is part of a massive conspiracy. It's completely ridiculous but let's take a closer look anyway.

There's nothing to see here. Although it's interesting that Daniel Levy has so much personal stake in Spurs and ... wait... what is this?

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Oh my god.

Oh.

My.

God.

The Rothschild family owns part of Spurs?

I've been making fun of the people who hate our ownership group for years now, but I've been doing it for the wrong reasons. We haven't been run as part of a scheme by an investment company to make money off the back of our club. We've been run as part of an international banking conspiracy designed to dominate the entirety of world affairs. You thought they were pinching pennies for a new stadium? You poor, naive fool. You think Joe Lewis sold Gareth Bale to reinvest in the squad?

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

For years Tottenham Hotspur has been at the center of an international conspiracy designed to shake the foundations of the international economy. This shouldn't be a surprise. We knew they didn't really care about football. What they actually cared about was using Tottenham Hotspur to manipulate communities across Europe into riots and unrest that would allow them to buy the property they needed to control Europe and thereby have a staging platform to construct a satellite to contact Mars and let Jack the Ripper know it was safe to return to Earth.

In retrospect it's all so clear.

We want our owners to put the football first. We thought they were putting profit first. Now we find out that they're actually putting a 200 year old worldwide conspiracy to conquer Europe so they can bring  an alien that once killed some prostitutes in London back to Earth. And it has been under our nose the entire time. It goes all the way to the top! And by that I mean Mars, not Joe Lewis! Against Modern Football wasn't a juvenile movement hearkening back to a past that never existed, it was our last hope. And now it's too late.

RIP THFC. Long live the Illuminati.