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Happy Spursday, Spursland! Today, Tottenham Hotspur play Monaco in the Europa League, which is probably going to be a pretty great test for some of our fringe players. Monaco aren't as good as they were last season, but they've still retained a lot of talented players, and they should be taking this tournament seriously.
And now the "news."
Because everything is bad and nothing matters.
Dele Alli, Harry Kane get England call-ups | @England
Shouldn't @England be some government thing?
Harry Redknapp has taeks | London Evening Standard
He says he'd have won the title if he got the Bale money and he was close to signing Santi Cazorla.
Clinton N'Jie "weary of Monaco" | BBC
"We are going to be ready physically and mentally. Monaco are a good team but I think if we go there determined to win we can be victorious." Nice clickbait headline, BBC!
Benfica fans hurl flares at Calderon | AS
Football fans are the worst. Ban them.
High schools drop football over disinterest, death and injuries | CBS
It's starting. The NFL will have a minor league that signs 18-year-olds within five years.
We close with Shakhtar Donetsk's awful finishing.