A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links October 23, 2015

Happy Friday, Spursland!

Just kidding. Everything sucks. We lost in the meaningless Europa League to a garbage team, full of guys who probably want to colonize the Congo again. And we're inevitably going to lose on Sunday because that's really the only thing the Europa matches are good for: ruining Sunday.

So in honor of the metaphorical latrine we are currently residing in, I give to you "F*** it Friday". When everything sucks, and you just have to give in to it. I present this gif as tribute to a new tradition in addition to honoring the past.

And now for the "news":

Tottenham are tracking Hazard| Daily Mail

It's the Hazard we deserve right now. Put your tails down.

Pochettino is mad| Daily Star

I believe he was last seen boarding a plane back to England screaming "the horror! the horror!"

Tale of the tape: LeSean McCoy vs. Harry Kane| NFL.com

I'm fairly certain whoever wrote this is in the midst of a game of "truth or dare" that has gone wrong.

I tried to help a soccer player| SB Nation

The alternate title could be "read the comments if you want to feel better about your intelligence".