A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links October 27, 2015

Happy Tuesday, Spursland! Still basking in the glow of the 5-1 shredding of Bournemouth? You should be. Goalkeepers have that kind of pee down the leg type of performance maybe a handful of times in their career so let's savor Artur Boruc giving us one of his, and let's face it, Brad Guzan will be scorpion flip saving our goal bound efforts away this week.

Speaking of Boruc, how bad is his neck tattoo? I think it's pretty bad, like almost one of the worst tattoos in the Premier League. So for this week's Terrible Taste Tuesday I propose a contest.

What's worse: Artur Boruc's neck tats or the lyrics to this song?

And now for the "news":

Harry Kane hails the modern aeroplane| Telegraph

Don't think for a second that this link about flying didn't inspire my choice for that god awful song. And just as much as Harry can attribute the transit for the team's success on the pitch, can I blame my awful work performances on early morning 2 service?

Hugo Lloris writes "cheeky" message on Harry's matchball| London Evening Standard

I'm not totally convinced the French are capable of cheeky banter. I assume the French dislike all things except smoking, drinking, or eating and possibly arguing about those things. (And no I'm not furiously plotting on how I can live in the south of France right now, ok?)

Stealing candy from a baby| Dear Mr. Levy

I was going to make a "Maggie shot Mr. Burns joke" and was quite proud of myself. Then I opened the article and saw Spooky beat me to the punch. Shine on you magnificent b******.

Could you shut it, Harry?| 7500 to Holte

Can you ask a bird not to fly? Can you ask a fish not to swim?? Can you expect a ginger, bejoweled football man not to conduct press conferences from his Range Rover???

Ex-hockey player does the only thing more dangerous than smashing a frozen piece of rubber around an ice rink while hurtling across it on razor sharp skates| SB Nation Lookit

Is it possible Roenick has a Hook complex?