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Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For February 23, 2015

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Tottenham Hotspur news and links, with 50 Shades of Grey.

Paul Gilham/Getty Images

Happy Monday, Spursland! I was unable to watch the game this weekend, because sleep. That said, I have a pretty good idea how it felt. As far as I can tell, this match was like watching 50 Shades of Grey for Spurs fans. The product on screen is amazingly bad, and yet a significant portion of those watching found a way to really enjoy the end result, all things considered. Should you not understand what I mean by this, I present this helpful video summary produced by alternative interest black belt Hannah Harkness.

And now the "new"

Big Sam Upset With "NFL Timekeeping"- BBC

I get what he is saying, but he should know that it is still a terrible comparison. You know if you are complaining about stoppage time not being kept accurately, you shouldn't compare it to one of the most rigidly timed sports outside of track that the world has to offer. It's fucking confusing, and most of us, including myself, are morons. Keep it simple, you pumpkin headed doof.

Big Sam Says Spurs Were Lucky To Earn A Draw- Guardian

You are correct. Hey, when they call you big Sam is it because you are just generally big or are they just comparing the size of your giant, borderline deformed noggin to other humans?

Referee Bumps Like Shawn Michaels Against Hogan- SB Nation Soccer

He put the ground over like a pro. Too bad that in next PPV Vince is going to bury him.

Totti Cares Not For Physics, Aging- SB Nation Soccer

And in what is consistently soul crushing news, he also does not care about me.

The FIFA On Amateur Special- SB Nation Soccer

Dribble in, wide cut in unleash monster shot at an angel that makes you fall over.