Radamel Falcao linked to Tottenham in ridiculous transfer rumor

It was somewhere outside Daily Express headquarters where the drugs took hold...

Everyone that follows the Premier League knows that once prolific striker Radamel Falcao has had a rough transition to Premier League life at Manchester United. Injuries, Louis van Gaal's post-modern long ball tactics, and poor form on the pitch, have found the Colombian international on the outside looking in at Old Trafford.

Too bad. The guy was a terror during his time at Porto and Atletico Madrid. He is not that anymore. Thank goodness, for his ego and for the rumor mill, his representation isn't a big believer in reality checks. In hopes of securing his client a club after he is inevitably released back to Monaco, his agent, Jorge Mendes, is already drumming up the rhetoric.

They miss [Sir Alex] Ferguson at Manchester United. With him and his template the situation would be different.

Cheeky, Jorge. Cheeky. Staying ahead of, or changing, the narrative is always a good strategy. Finger pointing always beats out accountability in the political arena.

Now it is at this point the critical reader should be asking "so what in the hell does this have to do with Tottenham?" And it is at this point I have to say "welcome to #batcountry". This has nothing to do with Spurs. There are no quotes, no links, no anything, other than conjecture and an article description suggesting that Tottenham are in line for his services.

If you want the final kicker, the coup de grace, proving that this is all just the Express' way of turning our damaged psyches into page views, note this quote by Mendes.

If Falcao does not stay at Manchester, he will be at one...of the best teams in the world.

If anybody infers this as code for "Spurs are in for Falcao", may I suggest night classes. Illiteracy is a real problem, and we need to take it seriously, unlike this article, which should be laughed at.