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Dear commentariat: do you know what is the best thing ever? Trader Joe's Speculoos Cookie Butter. It is just the best. A piece of fresh baked whole-grain bread, lightly toasted, spread with cookie butter is one of life's great pleasures. Do you know what else is one of life's great pleasures? Bourbon. These two sentences are not related, I swear. Well, mostly not related. I think. Where's my bourbon?
And now, the "news":
Tickets now on sale for Tottenham vs. Sydney FC match, May 30 - tottenhamhotspur.com
Hey AWO, have you bought your ticket yet? If not, you're probably SOL, since I'd guess by the time you read this they're probably sold out already. Sucks to be you.
Mauricio's Loftus Road selfie was for his family, who were in the stands - Daily Mail
I kind of wondered. And for the record, Poche has two sons: Maurizio (13) and Sebastiano (20). I don't know about you, but Poche doesn't look nearly old enough to have a 20-year old son.
Harry Kane not concerned with England call-up - espn.co.uk
BREAKING: Harry Kane has also mastered the art of giving quotes without actually saying a g**d**n thing.
All you need to know about MLS in 2 minutes - sbnation.com/soccer
No, really, this is all you need to know.
Spurs considering bid for Toby Alderweireld - Daily Express
Yes, it's #batcountry, but an all-Belgian central defense might be pretty cool. Sorry, Vlad. Womp-womp.