A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday April 22, 2015

Here we are, Spursland. Not just another Wednesday where we wistfully wish for the weekend. No, this is the day when all hell breaks loose in our hearts as the official "Hugo is going to leave at some point" reality sets in. I am going to celebrate this day, and my love for that handsome b******, by comprising an angsty 80's playlist encompassing some of the transfers that have given me the biggest feels in the last six to seven years, and to learn you youngsters something.

Against All Odds--Phil Collins

For Hugo:

"So take a look at the goal, cause there's just an empty space, Kyle gored your knee, Daniel fetched a hefty fee, and that's a fact I've got to face."

Only in my Dreams--Debbie Gibson

For Luka:

"Noooooooo, no, no, no only in my dreams, midfield's a pile of s*** that steams, it functions only in my dreams."

I got to witness a functional midfield for a couple years. Thank you, you sweet Croatian troll.

Don't You Want Me--The Human League

For Morgan Schneiderlin (for whom I pine, unrequited):

Mauricio Pochettino: "You were working as a mid in the relegation zone when I met you. I taught the press, you did impress, you turned around, turned into someone new..."

MS: "I was working as a mid on the south coast, yeah, that much is true. Even then I knew I'd find a much better place, and now I'm better than you..."

Vin: "Don't you want us, Morgan? Don't you want us, OHHHHHHHHHHHH????"

Now for the "news"

Kevin Mirallas and Aaron Lennon to swap this summer--Telegraph

It's nice that none of the rags will have to write new stories this summer. Usually, they have to at least cut and paste names out of their bats*** templates.

Spurs to be beaten to River Plate defender by Arsenal--Here is the City

This is probably just clickbait by the lads over at HITC, but I'm all in favor of stoking the flames of Arsenal hatred. On a side note, I think I could really get into River if I had the time.

Tottenham set to lose out on French U-20 starlet to CSKA London--Express

Hey Damien, let me tell you your career track. You'll be purchased for six million pounds. You'll be loaned out to Vitesse, you'll have a great time. Mourinho will have no use for you despite your footballing gifts. You'll be sold to Marseille in two years for nine million pounds. You will be rich. Chelsea will be richer. And I now need a bourbon.

Bayern Munich went nuts on fools--SB Nation Soccer

How do you say "stop, he's already dead" in German?

The Cubs might be good, but they are definitely fun, and I hate everything about this--SB Nation MLB

This is going to be a long, long baseball summer for me. #pray4vin