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Happy Monday Spursland! And what a tepid Monday it is. A draw over the weekend, the inevitable, no matter what some idiots on twitter say, Harry Kane Young Player Of The Year Award announced and in knucklehead news Jon Jones did, something. All around pretty much business as usual.
THAT ENDS NOW.
Once, a long time ago another totally not me different person wrote the Hoddle every day, and that guy was a moron. A caveman of low cunning, fueled by mid shelf bourbon and Rolling Rock. But one thing that guy did, was theme Hoddles. It is time to bring back that tradition. Welcome my friends to mystery theme week.
Here is how it works, every day will have a mystery theme, you guys (if you want or are even reading this) can guess the theme in the comments section and at the end of the day the person with the best answer will win 100 billion internetz. Got it? No? Well I ain't explaining it again. Hey did you guys get your apple watches yet? ugh sigh smh, blurg amIright?
And now the "news"
Spurs Need A "Big Summer" To Make Top Four-BBC
Do they need a "big summer? Do they? And did you basically just kinda say "hey we gonna punt the rest of this sh*tty season"? Cause that's what it felt like the next thing you say will probably be something like "Yo I think the Entourage movie is gonna be a seminal work of film and a triumph of art and substance over flash we remember for generations" because that's what category those other statements belong in.
Poche Feels The Love At Southampton Draw-Guardian
Did you because I found the experience about as enjoyable as a month of eating nothing but butternut squash soup.
Bayern Win The Bundisliga-SB Nation Soccer
About as predictable as the kind of farts your dog has after he licks clean the bowl you just ate chili out of.
60 Yard Free Kick Goal, Don't Mind if I Do-SB Nation Soccer
That keeper is about as wanted in his locker room as the guy who uses the hand dryer on his pubes.
Pirlo Is Old, Still Good As Ever-SB Nation Soccer
Pirlo is to soccer as Dolph Ziggler would be to wrestling if Vince McMahon wasn't in charge.