Tottenham Hotspur vs. Burnley Man of the Match: Whiskey

I'm a whisky drinker, the varieties both with and without the "e" but I'll be the first to tell you that it can be a pretty expensive hobby, especially if you exit the realm of bourbon and into the single malt world. It also serves a crucial purpose for the discerning Tottenham Hotspur fan, for who knows the bottom of a bottle of whiskey better than a Tottenham supporter? Here are a few of my favorite whiskeys which are perfect for drowning away your sorrows after listless, uninspiring 0-0 draws against relegation candidate teams. Any one of these could be your man of the match! (Please drink responsibly.)

Corsair Triple Smoke Small Batch American Malt ($60)

This isn't a scotch (since it wasn't distilled in Scotland) but if you love peat-forward scotches with a huge front end of smoke flavors and a smooth finish, this is a whiskey that you owe it to yourself to try. Made with cherrywood, peat, and beechwood smoked barleys, a few glasses of this might make you forget that Ryan Mason back pass for a little while.

The Balvenie DoubleWood 12-year old ($59)

This was one of the first scotches that I purchased on my own after I became a legal adult and it remains one of my favorite approachable scotches. Less peaty and with a long & smooth finish, this is an excellent "starter scotch" for those who may not know what they like. It's not a peat bomb, but the wood aging does give it a little extra depth of character. Drink this and you may miss Gareth Bale just a bit less.

Highland Park 12 Year ($40)

One of my favorite scotches of all time, it's also one of the more affordable non-bourbon whiskeys on this list. Smooth, buttery, extraordinarily drinkable. Much like Christian Eriksen, it's a whisky that belies its price tag and delivers some true moments of brilliance, though much like Eriksen, results can sometimes vary from bottle to bottle.

Johnnie Walker Black Label ($35)

For too long I avoided Johnnie Walker blended scotches in much the same way I continue to avoid Jack Daniels: because I assumed that it was mass-produced pot-swill that didn't deserve my attention. But more recently I've come to really appreciate JW's black label expression as a nicely approachable whiskey that works equally well as a casual sipper as it does with soda or in a cocktail. The price is certainly right. This isn't rotgut - it's a well-balanced whisky that probably deserves a little more appeal and time in a glass than what it's getting right now. Much like Erik Lamela.

Rowan's Creek Kentucky Bourbon ($30)

Let's not neglect the bourbon, though, and Rowan's Creek is a nice example of a good everyday drinking bourbon that won't set you back a lot of dough. With hints of peach and mint, it's a fine example of a good, solid bourbon that isn't Knob Creek, Maker's, or Bulleit (branch out, people!). Drink it neat, with no need to add water, much like how Nabil Bentaleb has been a little neglectful in his water carrying duties for Spurs in recent matches.

Laphroaig 10 ($50)

With a noted medicinal funk that devotees love for some reason, to me this whiskey smells like the band-aid placed over the gash in Hugo Lloris' leg after Kyle Walker slid into him during one of his defensive derps against Leicester. The flavor is reminiscent of iodine, Andre Villas-Boas' aftershave, and Tottenham Hotspur supporter's tears. The website describes it as "A big, peaty slap to the face." Sounds perfect for this Spurs team. Drink in one sitting while crying and spilling curry over your Harry Kane custom goalkeeper jersey.