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Wednesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links May 13, 2015

IT'S COMING, Y'ALL.

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Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

Happy Wednesday, Spursland! OHHHHHHHHH can you FEEEL IT? Can you feel it in the air? Summer is coming, and with it not only do we get powerful low pressure systems moving in to smash us with climate change-powered comeuppance, we get crazy-ass transfer drama.

Hark? What's that you say? But Jay Rod already resigned with his current team so what crazy transfer drama could there be? Have no fear friend, if there isn't a crazy transfer rumor out there, the professional press will manufacture some.

But wait there MORE! Do you want a running string of not only year-end review pieces but evaluations and reevaluations of each first team player?  WELL TOO BAD CAUSE YOU ARE GONNA GET SOME. I can't wait for Ryan Mason day. [Editor's note: Fired.]

And now the "news"

Adebayor's Facebook Rants Could Ruin Summer Move-Telegraph

Excuse me what? Who wrote this?  Did Colin Cowherd write this?  Because it comes off as a hot take based off ridiculous not sports related events, and that has recently been kinda Cowherd's thing. And, just saying, the only thing any team has ever cared about is 1. Can the person play well?  2.  Will some special interest group give us too hard a time over something this person has done off the field?  If the answer to the first question is yes and the second answer is no, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU KILLED DOGS BY ELECTROCUTION, SOMEONE IS SIGNING YOU UP TO PLAY.  No team is gonna not buy him because he bitched about his tire fire of a family and how they treat him on Facebook. They aren't gonna sign him because he hasn't played well in forever, has gotten next to no first team playing time, costs a lot in wages, and he is 31.  I haven't seen a lot of scouting reports but I have never seen one with a section on a player's relationship with their mother. Piss off M8.

Spurs Fan Takes Post As UK Sports Minister-Guardian

OooooOOO it's a lady.  Also a qualified football coach.

Newcastle Should Be Relegated For Their Own Good-SB Nation Soccer

Further Proof That Andi Thomas is our greatest living sports writer. [Editor's note: see also Jim McMeachin's response.]

For Manchester United, 4th Place Is Not A Job Done-The Busby Babe

Oh Look another Andi Thomas gem, as if to prove my previous point.

Revisiting Kevin Smith's Library With Mallrats-Progressive Boink

I refuse to believe that drugs don't help with creativity.  I've never done drugs, like ever, no not even weed.  But I think Progressive Boink might prove that drugs help with creativity.  I have no idea if drugs were involved with that site ever.  I just think it might be possible.