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Wednesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links May 20, 2015

Tottenham Hotspur news and links.

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Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images

Happy Wednesday, Spursland! It has arrived. We have been dancing around it, we all knew it was coming. Full on crazy town #batcountry. This is like when in Lawrence of Arabia when they get to "the anvil" you knew it was coming, you knew it would suck so SOOOOO much, it's been talked about for the last however long. Now we are here. The season is effectively over and one particular editor on this site is on a quest to make out front page full of rumors based entirely in Ligue 1. (Ed. Note: YEAH I AM! WOOO!) Welcome to the gun show kiddies. Nothing makes sense, just treat it like an avalanche. It can't be stopped, you just have to go with it and try to keep your head near the surface. (Ed. Note: I didn't read most of this paragraph. So, if you can figure out what it says, congratulations!)

And now the "news"

The EPL Ineptitude Table - Guardian

Spurs are shockingly low in this table, which makes me think that this person kinda fudged the numbers in the errors that lead to an opposition shot category, to name just one. Note to self: put Stat Man Caley on this and see where things really shake out.

Manchester United Win The "Mini League" - Telegraph

Not that this isn't a pointless thing to keep track of or anything, but it is no surprise to see us at the bottom of the list.

The 9 Stages Of Phil Jones' Head Tackle - SB Nation Soccer

This reminds me of a track coach telling me that he could break down throwing the discuss into 64 separate steps. I don't buy it for a minute. A guy went "shit what do I do" then does the first thing that comes to his mind and GOES for it.

Jozy Altidore Out For USMNT Games - SB Nation Soccer

Julian Green gets the start up top?  Whats that? You think I am a crazy person?  Well that's fair.

Hey The Giro D' Italia Is Happening - Podium Cafe

Cycling it's a great thing to happen if you are hungover yet awake early in the mornings and just need to watch a sport.