Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links May 5, 2015

Happy Cinco de Mayo Spursland! Ah yes, a day of celebration for really only one part of Mexico and in America mistaken constantly  for Mexican Independence Day.  It commemorates the Mexican victory over the French forces of Napoleon...  no not that one, another s**ttier Napoleon.  But either way wherever you are enjoy the opportunity to over pay for mediocre margaritas.

And now the "news"

Ryan Mason Believes Spurs Must Learn How To Win While Playing Badly-Guardian

That title is too perfect.

Greaves: The Goal Machine Behind Tottenham Glory-Telegraph

Respect.

Arsenal beat Hull, And We Can No Longer Catch Them-SB Nation

So be prepared for a lot of terrible jokes from Piers Morgan's twitter account.

Chelsea Are The Best But The Rest Were Rubbish-SB Nation Soccer

This seems like bullying. "If you don't have anything nice to say, best not get hired as a blogger and state facts," that's what my mother always said.

The Dark Twitter Story Of Cap'n Crunch, His Dog, And A Pirate Who Drowned Trying To Eat Cereal-SB Nation What In The Hell?

I... what?  Am I still speaking English?  I am not even sure what language this is.  Is this earth?  This reminds me, how I am feeling right now, of how they say going through a black hole would feel like.  I'm light headed.