Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links June 1, 2015

Happy Monday Spursland!  Hey did you hear the news from over the weekend? Poche came out and said basically Hugo doesn't want to leave.  [Editor's note: it was on our website.] And that is great news. Less great and more completely unnecessary was him stating that the club are happy with that. Tomorrow I am expecting him to state the the club is also "moderately satisfied" with harry Kane's Season. STOP TRYING TO SAY TOO MUCH, YOU AREN'T HARRY REDKNAPP!

And now the "news"

Benteke Linked To Spurs?-Independant

If you are a moron and listened to the commentary of the FA cup final you know Benteke is complete crap and the only thing standing between Aston Villa and the Champion's League Final. Then again if you eyes are attached to your brain but your ears aren't you know that he is amazballs and on a decent team he could do great things.  This absolutely won't happen because of money, outside competition, and probably several other reasons, but it's fun to dream about until you wake up in a start only to realize yes you really do live in Wisconsin.

Hey United, Kane Is Not For Sale-Telegraph

Yea so just sit over there with Rooney, And Van Persie, And whichever other big money foreign purchase you make this season.  Come to think of it that's not much of a put down and more of a statement of a lineup that's still pretty good but is way better in FIFA than in real life.

Jack Warner Uses The Onion To Prove His Innocence-SB Nation Soccer

I am starting to see why his sons thought it was abetter move to rat out Daddy. This guy is too stupid not to at least have tripped and fallen into a bribe while he was in power.

How A Corrupt Man Keeps Being Elected-SB Nation Soccer

M*****f****r, Kevin McCauley just made me kind of Like Sepp Blatter for a second. Just a second, but it was a full one and some change.

In The Interest OF Fair Coverage I SHOUUUULD Be Posting About Arsenal Winning The FA Cup...But This Is So Much Bigger-Cageside Seats

If anyone wants me to give them some "veteran advice" I'll be in my bunk.