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Happy Wednesday Soursland! And would you look at that, our first signing of the season has inched just a little bit closer to being finalized. It's like watching a slug slowly ooze it's way across your garden towards that bowl of beer you set out to trick them into dying. Good God, can Levy get off his duff and go spree shopping already? It's getting boring in here, there is only so much I can handle of my day proofing my script treatment for "Serenity 2: For The Love of Reavers". Spoiler alert, Kaylie is the breakout star in this ode to the modern feminist.
And now the "news"
Rooney Calls Kane Nice Things-Sqwuaka
You can't have him, he doesn't even want you, why are you still talking about him all the time this feels like a conversation your friend who refuses to accept the girl he likes has already clearly rejected him 8 times. Let it go man, or woman, whichever.
Neville: Harry Kane Would be Great For United-ESPN FC
Yes he would be great for them, be cause he is great, but we got him and you don't so shut your stupid mouth Neville and stick to delighting children in the audience who like your twisty jumps and bland promos.
Jamaica Keeper Heads Ball Off Attacker And Into His Net-SB Nation Sadness
Why did you need to be that far out? There was nobody around just take three steps back and pick it up off the ground like an unruly toddler.
FIFA 16 Gets Big Time Upgrades-Polygon
Hey did you guys know that our Parent company Vox Media also owns video game site Polygon? It functions a lot like here but is about video games. I have not researched this but I assume they are not concerned at all about "ethics in gaming" so that's awesome.
Make Time For An Old Freind: RIP Joe Son's Nuts-Progressive Boink
This is a deep memory for me. I started watching the UFC with my dad at UFC 5 because "your mom is out of town and we are gonna do some man shit, boy". And soon we watched all the previous UFCs and every one since. Keith Hackney was a hero of ours, because he broke his hand on the face of a man who outweighed him by like 300 pounds but found a different way to keep punching that face with the same hand and win. Also Joe Son is a con artist and an huge asshole. He got known in MMA as Kimo's walkout friend and when that went south got into the cage himself after saying he invented a new form of fighting that was unbeatable called "Joe Son Do" then Keith Hackney ruined his d**k. Oh yes he is also serving life for torturing raping and murdering people. I only wish that Keith Hackney's fist was a gun in this video and the lives of many many people would be way better today. Anyways this video rules and you should watch it. #d**kpunch