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Andros Townsend plus cash for Crystal Palace winger Yannick Bolasie?

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He's fast, tricky, and ready for a step up to a bigger club. Too bad it's the Metro repeating a rumor from the Sun.

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Transfer rumors are super fun, everyone. Today, everyone's second-least-favorite English newspaper the Metro is reporting that Tottenham are looking at speedy Congolese winger Yannick Bolasie from Crystal Palace. Bolasie, 26, has had a very good season for Palace, contributing 4 goals and 6 assists in 41 appearances as Palace secured a top-half finish, and it has put him on the radar of several top English clubs.

Bolasie has been a fixture at left wing for Palace this season. Super fast, he's basically a much better Andros Townsend: a player who likes to dribble at opponents and cut inside to look for scoring opportunities. He's not the greatest of passers, and he contributes almost nothing to defense, but he makes up for it with blazing speed and a nice shot. He's really come on since the appointment of Alan Pardew at Palace; last month Pardew suggested that he could be worth £40-60m, which is emphatically lol, but does make a point about his importance at Selhurst Park. The Metro is claiming that a bid of £20m might be enough to secure his services, and also suggests that Spurs might make a Townsend-plus-cash offer for Bolasie.

It's the Metro, quoting the Sun, which in the great transfer rumor hierarchy is slightly above The Quibbler, so take this with an entire salt mine. In fact, this rumor is almost certainly made up. So for now, add Yannick Bolasie to the list of players that Tottenham Hotspur are linked to and probably won't sign. That said, I wouldn't at all mind seeing Bolasie play for Tottenham next season and will maintain hope beyond all rationality that this particular blind squirrel has found a nut.