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Where in the World is Yevhen Konoplyanka? Rumors have him at Spurs, Atletico, and Sevilla

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DO IT, DANIEL LEVY!

Adam Nurkiewicz/Getty Images

The saga of Yevhen Konoplyanka has gone from the amusing to the ridiculous in just two days. The Ukrainian winger, who took Dnipro to the Europa League finals against Sevilla this season, has been linked to Tottenham Hotspur for more than a year now. After a supposed deal with Sevilla broke down on Friday, it was quickly rumored that Konoplyanka had reached an agreement with Tottenham Hotspur. And then things got really weird.

(DO IT, DANIEL LEVY!)

Well he flies around the world from Dnipropetrovsk to Asia
He's a tricky footed winger and he wants out of Ukraine
He's out of contract with his club, it's said he's playing in Malaysia
Tell me, where in the world is Yevhen Konoplyanka?

Within hours, reports began appearing that Konoplyanka was in North London having a medical with Tottenham ahead of a free transfer signing. Even those reports were spurious and based on very little actual evidence, but hey, free transfer, right? But then tweets with this image started appearing and everything got confusing again.

He had a medical at Tott'nham but it seems nobody saw him
He was last seen on an airplane where he ended up in Spain
He could still end up at Liverpool where he'd likely be forgotten
Tell me, where in the world is Yevhen Konoplyanka?

Now, conflicting reports are circulating again. In one version, Konoplyanka has agreed to come to Tottenham, and the club is just waiting to make the final announcement. A variation of this rumor has Konoplyanka in Madrid because Daniel Levy was in town to finalize the signing of Toby Alderweireld, and this would kill two birds with one stone. In another version, no WAY is is coming to London, he's in Madrid because he's signing for Atletico Madrid! Or, the Sevilla deal is back on, and was never truly dead!

He goes from Ukraine to London, Hannover to Dublin,
He travels to Banska, Slovakia AND BACK!

None of this rampant speculation is Konoplyanka's fault, of course, but it does tie a very pretty bow around how ridiculous the Silly Season can get at times. And really, this is as rampant as speculation has gotten since Ryan Babel rode in a helicopter from Liverpool to London in 2010. Is Konoplyanka a Spurs player? Is he the latest in a string of Daniel Levy-esque deals? Will he be Tottenham's Andrey Arshavin?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Don't even care. I'm enjoying the spectacle way too much. (Thanks to @blasiansays for inspiring this article by writing the lyrics to the bridge.)

He was decent in Europa where he made the final stages
He's wanted in Iberia, from Chicago to Japan
He has a crazy agent who'll do anything for wages
Tell me, where in the world is Yevhen Konoplyanka?
Tell me, where in the world is Yevhen Konoplyanka? (repeat 9x)